doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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