do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Holy sore nipples Batman
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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