Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
