Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
