After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
