yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
