hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
