Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's never too late to be topless.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
