im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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