the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
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Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Someone signed my nipple.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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