His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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