Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Never joke about your clitoris.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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