Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
