so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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