all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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