My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
