im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
