Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
