"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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