I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
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If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.