I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
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she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
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I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho