i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
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Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?