Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out