so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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