i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
