He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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