My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
