dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
