don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
