Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
