Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
