Can Purell be used as lube?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
