Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
