whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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