So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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