I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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