shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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