i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
