He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize