the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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