He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
