everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
