I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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