My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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