I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
