We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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