On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
