i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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