He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
