After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
a search helicopter?!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I party with great urgency now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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