I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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