Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
