This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think i got beer on your cat.
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