dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
