Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
