No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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