summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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