I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
