Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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