she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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