i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
