Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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