Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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